


How This Not-So-Little Pig Learned to Read (and Made a Friend in the Process)

by geri_chan



Category: Thundercluck! Series - Paul Tillery IV
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, POV Minor Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23715169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geri_chan/pseuds/geri_chan
Summary: War-Tog has always been content to be a henchman of the evil Under-Cook, Gorman Bones. But things begin to change when Brunhilde urges him to think for himself...
Comments: 8
Kudos: 3
Collections: Be The First! 2020





	How This Not-So-Little Pig Learned to Read (and Made a Friend in the Process)

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place during and after the second book, Recipe for Revenge. Check out the Thundercluck [website](http://www.thundercluck.com/) for more info about the books, along with a book trailer and the short film that inspired the series.

Once upon a time, War-Tog had been a normal pig and his only concerns had been eating slop from the feed trough and wallowing in mud puddles. Back then he had been content, not knowing anything else. As the biggest pig in the pen, he'd always gotten to wallow in the best mud puddle and eat his fill of slop before the other pigs did. For a pig, life had been pretty good.

But then Gorman Bones had come along and everything had changed. He had fed the pigs magic gruel that had turned them into man-pigs, making them bigger, stronger, and smarter. Bones (or Boss, as the man-pigs called him) had muttered something about "smarter being relative," whatever that meant.

"I'm the brains, and you're the brawn," Boss had told him. War-Tog's heart had swelled with pride to know that the Boss was counting on his strength, even though the way he'd said it had sounded more like an insult than a compliment. War-Tog told himself that was just how the Boss was--Mr. Boss didn't like to act all sentimental, but he'd given War-Tog a magic bowl of gruel that refilled itself whenever War-Tog was hungry. 

That must mean that Boss liked him deep down, even if he did occasionally grumble about "useless swine," especially when the man-pigs had failed to capture Thundercluck, Boss's nemesis. (War-Tog wasn't sure what a "nemesis" was, but it seemed to be fancy way of saying "enemy".)

It was a little weird to have a chicken as an arch-enemy, but Thundercluck was no ordinary chicken, just as Boss was no ordinary chef. He had once been the head chef of Asgard until he had tried to cook Thor's pet chicken, Hennda. During the battle, Boss had been struck by Thor's lightning bolt, and Hennda had also been hit by accident. 

The bolt had temporarily killed Boss, who had gone to Helheim, land of the dead. Hennda had survived and laid an egg that hatched into Thundercluck, a chicken who could cast lightning bolts like Thor did. The baby chicken was befriended by a baby Valkyrie named Brunhilde.

In the meantime, Boss had been hard at work making his escape from Helheim. Dead people didn't usually get to come back to life (obviously), but Hel had a weakness for chocolate, and Boss had bought his freedom by making her the world's greatest dark fudge brownie.

Boss had emerged from the underworld a changed man. Now calling himself the Under-Cook, he had lost his mortal flesh--except for his bushy mustache--and turned into a skeleton wearing a chef's hat and apron. He'd spent years plotting his revenge: laboring over the brownie, learning dark magic, creating his army of man-pigs, and building a stronghold in a volcano.

After a dozen years, Boss had been ready to take his revenge. They had managed to capture Brunhilde and lure Thundercluck to the volcano-castle to rescue her. Boss would slay Thundercluck with his magic non-stick frying pan and turn him into chicken soup. And once he ate the meat of the chicken who'd defeated him, Boss would get his body back.

At least, that was how things were supposed to go.

Instead, it had ended in complete defeat. For such a sweet-looking little girl, Brunhilde could kick serious butt. She'd beaten up all the man-pigs, including War-Tog himself. And Thundercluck had destroyed the Boss's frying pan. Not only that, they had destroyed the entire castle, causing it to collapse into a pile of rubble.

Even worse, Mr. Boss had been blown into smithereens, too--his bones had been scattered across the realms, leaving behind only his skull. On the bright side, that was the part of him that could think and talk, so it was lucky that War-Tog had found the skull and not, say, his kneecap. But Boss hadn't seemed comforted by that when War-Tog had pointed it out.

All the other man-pigs had fled when the castle fell, but War-Tog couldn't abandon the Boss, who now needed him more than ever. Rescuing the skull and his bottomless gruel bowl from the castle rubble, War-Tog and Boss had set off on a journey to find the rest of Boss's bones.

They hadn't had much luck when they ran into the evil sorceress Medda, who offered to help Boss get his body back in exchange for helping her find a magic book that would give her the power to conquer Asgard and all the other realms.

War-Tog thought finding a book couldn't be that hard, but he was wrong. Not only was it hidden in the lair of the Book Wyrm, it turned out that Brunhilde and Thundercluck were searching for the book, too. Boss was okay with that because he still wanted revenge on the chicken, but War-Tog wasn't eager to fight those two again.

When he ran into them while traveling, he thought he was about to get his butt whooped again. 

"I don't wanna fight," he protested. "I didn't wanna fight last time neither. I was just followin' orders."

To his surprise, the pair took pity on him, and Brunhilde told him, "But next time someone tells you to do something, and you know it's wrong, you should think for yourself."

War-Tog scratched his head in confusion. "So I shouldn't take orders...is that an order?"

Brunhilde looked a little confused herself, then said, "I _highly encourage_ you to think for yourself, but you don't have to listen to me."

War-Tog mulled over her words as they went their separate ways. Nobody had ever told him to think for himself before. Boss and Medda, who had been hiding while he spoke to Brunhilde, laughed and mocked the idea of War-Tog thinking for himself, which kind of hurt his feelings. 

More and more, War-Tog found himself the third wheel in their little group. Medda was always making fun of him and insulting him, calling him simple-minded and stupid, and Boss either ignored it or worse, laughed along with her. 

She also wouldn't let him stop to take mud baths, even when there was a nice big puddle right in their path, and she complained that she couldn't stand the sound of him slurping from his gruel bowl. 

"I can't concentrate when you make that noise," she snarled, and War-Tog reluctantly lowered his bowl. What was a man-pig supposed to do when he got hungry? Boss didn't seem to care, but then again, as a skull, Boss didn't need to eat, so maybe he didn't understand.

They managed to capture Thundercluck, and Boss baked up a magic biscuit that would make Thundercluck turn against Brunhilde and do whatever Medda said. 

War-Tog frowned. Fighting in battle was one thing, but turning best friends against each other just seemed...wrong. Even though they were enemies, Brunhilde and Thundercluck had been nice to him the last time they'd met--nicer than Medda and Boss were, to be honest.

"Maybe I don't understand right, but...I think maybe what we're doin' isn't very nice," he said. 

Boss just laughed, and Medda told him if he didn't like it, he should just leave. "We don't need you anymore, pig!" she shouted, throwing his precious gruel bowl out the door. 

War-Tog looked to Boss hopefully, but Boss was too focused on Thundercluck to care. He didn't even notice when War-Tog left Medda's tower, head down and shoulders slumped.

Ever since becoming a man-pig, he had devoted himself to serving Boss, and now War-Tog had no idea what to do or where to go. For the first time, he wished he was still a normal pig eating slop in the pigpen.

So he lurked around outside Medda's tower, hoping Boss would come to his senses and ask War-Tog to come back. He didn't, but War-Tog got swept up in the teleport spell that Boss used to transport himself and Medda to the caverns where the Book Wyrm lived.

Before War-Tog had a chance to approach Boss, he teleported away to hide while Medda went to confront the Book Wyrm, since a bodiless skull wouldn't be much help in a fight. Though how much trouble could a worm be, War-Tog wondered.

It turned out the Book Wyrm wasn't a little bitty worm like the kind you sometimes found in apples. Instead it was huge, with shimmering armored scales and horns and a razor sharp tail--sort of like a dragon without any legs. A pair of glasses perched on its nose made it look comical--until it started fighting.

It was a tough opponent--maybe even tougher than Thundercluck. It stabbed with its horns, slashed with its tail, and could even spit streams of acid. 

However, Medda's magic let her turn into any horned animal that she touched. War-Tog wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but even he saw what was coming next: Medda transformed herself into a second Book Wyrm.

At some point, Thundercluck had arrived, and it looked like he had broken the spell that Boss and Medda had cast on him, which made War-Tog feel better, even if that went against what Boss wanted. But even with the chicken joining in on the fight, it looked like Medda was going to win.

War-Tog wanted to help, but what could he do? He knew he was no match for Medda in her Book Wyrm form. And then he remembered how she always complained that she couldn't concentrate when he slurped.

He held the bowl up to his lips and sucked up a mouthful of gruel with a long, slow deliberate _sluuuuuuuurp!_

That drove Medda mad, as he'd known that it would. "I TOLD YOU I CAN'T CONCENTRATE WHEN YOU DO THAT!"

War-Tog kept slurping, and as Medda continued shouting at him, she lost control of her magic and changed back into her real self. She was no match for Thundercluck in that form, and after a brief skirmish, she turned into a horned owl and flew off.

With Medda gone, War-Tog pretended to leave, but hid behind a bookshelf to see what would happen with Thundercluck and the Book Wyrm.

Centuries ago, the Book Wyrm had taken over the Dwarven Library, guarding the books like they were a hoard of gold, and allowing no one to enter. Now that their mutual enemy was defeated, would it attack Thundercluck? They stared at each other for a long moment, neither one moving. Maybe it was his imagination, but War-Tog thought the Book Wyrm looked a little sad. 

Thundercluck gazed at the Wyrm thoughtfully, then his eyes lit up as he seemed to get an idea. He opened up one of the books that had fallen on the floor, and looked over at the Book Wyrm invitingly. It cautiously slithered over, then peered over Thundercluck's shoulder at the open book. After a minute or two it nodded, and Thundercluck turned the page with his wing.

Finally, War-Tog got it. The reason why the Book Wyrm was so grumpy was because it loved to read, but having no hands, it couldn't turn the pages.

War-Tog felt a pang of envy as he watched the pair reading together contentedly. Partly because he couldn't read, though he'd never felt the urge to before, but mostly because he realized that he'd never had a real friend. The other man-pigs had been his comrades-in-arms, but they hadn't been close, and they had all ran off and left him behind when the volcano-castle had fallen.

He could have gone with them, but he'd stayed behind to look after Boss. He had served Boss willingly, believing that Boss cared about him in his own way, but he'd abandoned War-Tog without a second thought when Medda had proved more useful to him.

The Book Wyrm must have been lonely too, War-Tog thought. He tiptoed out of the chamber as quietly as a large, armored man-pig could (which was not very, but the other two were too busy reading to notice). Before he left, he propped open the library door with his gruel bowl. 

He would miss the ready supply of gruel, but he could forage for himself, and the Book Wyrm might want visitors now that it knew it could get help reading. He was sure that Thundercluck would come back to see the Book Wyrm again, probably with Brunhilde and her dwarf friends.

And maybe, just maybe, War-Tog would come back to visit, too.

***

Not knowing what else to do, War-Tog set off in search of his former employer. Boss might have disappointed him, but he felt like Boss might need him now that Medda had run away. And maybe Boss would appreciate him a little more.

Cheered by that thought, War-Tog went searching through the dwarven caverns for Boss. The only problem was that he had no idea where to look. He didn't even know if Boss was still in the caverns, but he had to start somewhere. 

He wandered through the caverns without success. If Boss had hidden himself in a safe place, it was so safe that War-Tog couldn't find him. In-between his searches, War-Tog would go back to the Book Wyrm's lair to peek in on how it was doing and get a few slurps of gruel.

It seemed much happier now. It had plenty of visitors coming in and out from both Asgard and the Dwarven Kingdom. Brunhilde and Thundercluck came often, and the Book Wyrm seemed especially fond of them.

War-Tog watched a bit wistfully from the doorway. He didn't think they'd attack him if he joined them, but he felt...well...a bit shy about doing so. Maybe they weren't quite enemies anymore, but they weren't exactly friends, either.

One day War-Tog stopped by the library after another fruitless search. 

_And why's it called "fruitless"?_ he wondered. _I didn't find no fruit, but I wasn't looking for none, neither. Though a nice apple sure would be tasty right about now..._

"Ahem."

The sound of someone coughing startled War-Tog out of his wandering thoughts. He peeked through the doorway and saw that the Book Wyrm was alone, looking at him curiously.

"Oh, 'scuse me, Mr. Book Wyrm," War-Tog said politely, deciding that it was best to be polite to a creature with acid breath and a razor-sharp tail. "I didn't mean to bother you. I'll just have some gruel, if you don't mind, and be on my way."

"You...can stay," the Book Wyrm said in an oddly hesitant, slightly raspy voice.

War-Tog's jaw dropped as he gaped at the Wyrm in surprise. "I thought you couldn't talk!"

"I've only just started," the Book Wyrm admitted. "Never felt the need to before. The dwarves were hoping we could learn to communicate when they gifted me with magic glasses that gave me the ability to read, but..."

"You got mad 'cause then they didn't give you no way to turn the pages, so you couldn't read the books after all," War-Tog finished. "It's like puttin' a mud puddle in front of a pig and then not lettin' him wallow in it."

"Exactly!" the Book Wyrm agreed. "I thought they were taunting me, but it turned out to be a misunderstanding. Now that that's been cleared up, I don't mind talking with them, but it's still rather new to me."

"You're doin' great," War-Tog assured it. "I never woulda guessed that you just learned to talk."

"Thank you," the Book Wyrm said, looking pleased by the compliment. "And thank you also for propping the door open with your bowl. It locks automatically without the Dwarven Library Card, which is still missing. But if you need the bowl back, I'm sure we can find something else to use as a doorstop."

"Nah, it's okay," War-Tog replied. It felt good to be useful. "Long as you don't mind me stoppin' by to get some gruel every now and then."

"I'd enjoy the company," the Book Wyrm said. "Would you like to come in and read a book with me?" it asked hopefully.

War-Tog dropped his gaze and scuffed the floor with a hoofed foot, feeling slightly ashamed. "I don't mind turnin' pages for you, but..." His voice dropped to a mumble. "I can't read. I was a normal pig before Mr. Boss changed us into man-pigs, and he never taught us how to read. He...he said he was the brains and we was just the brawn."

The Book Wyrm didn't laugh at him or look at him scornfully for being stupid. Instead, it just cocked its head to one side and said, "I could teach you, if you'd like."

"Really?" War-Tog asked, looking up. "You don't think it'd be too hard for me?"

"I don't see why it would be," the Book Wyrm replied, with a little wriggle of its coils that seemed to be a shrug. "You were smart enough to distract Medda during the battle. And you were kind enough to prop the door open with your gruel bowl, so let me return the favor."

War-Tog straightened up with pride--no one had ever called him "smart" before! "Okay then, if you don't mind, Mr. Book Wyrm."

"There are some beginners' books over here," the Book Wyrm said, sliding along the floor until it reached the right shelf, then pointed with its tail. "If you don't mind getting that book on the bottom shelf, the one with the blue cover?"

It had a picture of an apple on the cover, and War-Tog asked, "Is it about food?"

"No, it's an alphabet book," the Book Wyrm replied. "Learning your ABCs is the building blocks of reading, like the bricks in the foundation of a castle."

War-Tog and the man-pigs had done plenty of grunt work building the Boss's castle, though he wasn't quite sure how that was like reading, but he just said, "Okay."

The Book Wyrm patiently went over the letters with War-Tog, and slowly the meaningless lines began to form recognizable shapes. But after a few hours, his eyes grew bleary, and the Book Wyrm said, "You've done well; that's enough for today. Come back tomorrow and we'll pick up where we left off." When War-Tog hesitated, the Book Wyrm added, "If you come in the evening, my other visitors should be gone by then. Although I don't think they'd mind, and besides, this is my library. They have no right to object if I invite a guest over."

Technically, the library had originally belonged to the dwarves, but War-Tog decided it would be better not to point that out. Besides, the Book Wyrm had been living there for several centuries, and possession was nine-tenths of the law, as Boss had said when they had moved into the vacant volcano. Then again, a volcano wasn't a popular place to build a castle, what with its tendency to blow up. 

Anyway, the dwarves seemed happy to let the Book Wyrm stay in the library, and War-Tog was touched that it was willing to stand up for him. But still...

"I'd rather visit when the others aren't around," he said. "I'll come by tomorrow night."

So War-Tog came back the next night, and continued visiting every other day or so in-between his search for Boss, which was growing increasingly half-hearted.

He much more enjoyed the time he spent with the Book Wyrm learning to read, or turning pages for the Book Wyrm, even if he couldn't read most of the words himself. It made him happy to see the Book Wyrm so happy, and some of those books had really cool pictures.

He liked the ones that showed battles, like the stories about the gods of Asgard, though the ones that showed Thor striking down his foes with lightning bolts gave War-Tog a shiver, remembering his past battles with Thundercluck and Brunhilde. But he did like the one where Thor had to disguise himself as Freya to get back his hammer from a giant. It was pretty funny to see Thor in a dress.

"Brunhilde likes that one, too," the Book Wyrm said as War-Tog chuckled.

The Book Wyrm also found some children's books that were mostly pictures with a few words that War-Tog could read by himself or with just a little help from the Book Wyrm. He especially liked the one about the three pigs who set off to build houses of their own.

"But those first two pigs was stupid," War-Tog said. "Even I know that houses of straw and sticks ain't gonna hold up. Bricks, now that's the way to go. As long as you don't build your house inside a volcano."

"I've been meaning to ask you, why did your boss choose a volcano for his residence?" the Book Wyrm said.

War-Tog shrugged. "I think it's an evil overlord thing. Plus he used the lava to heat his cauldron."

Before the Book Wyrm had a chance to reply, the door opened and Brunhilde and Thundercluck walked into the room. They froze in place, as did War-Tog, and all three of them stared at each other warily.

"War-Tog is here as my guest," the Book Wyrm said firmly.

"I don't want no trouble," War-Tog said. "I ain't workin' with the Boss no more. I don't even know where he is." 

Suddenly he realized that he was okay with that. Boss had no legs, but he could teleport, so he could have found War-Tog if he'd really wanted to. And even if he did find Boss, War-Tog didn't want to help him capture and cook Thundercluck anymore.

Thundercluck turned to Brunhilde and said, "Bagock."

Brunhilde nodded, seeming to understand what he meant. "Well, you did help Thundercluck and the Book Wyrm with Medda, so I guess you're okay, War-Tog. Truce?"

She held out her hand, and after a moment of hesitation, War-Tog reached out and shook it. "Truce," he said.

"Bagurk!" Thundercluck said in what sounded like agreement, laying his wing on top of their clasped hands as the Book Wyrm looked on approvingly.

The three of them settled down together to read with the Book Wyrm, and Brunhilde opened up the book of Asgardian tales that War-Tog was so fond of.

"This story is my favorite," Brunhilde said.

"Mine too!" War-Tog exclaimed. "Thor looks so funny in a dress!"

"Buk buk buk!" Thundercluck cackled.

"But we'd better not show this book to Thor," Brunhilde said after they finally stopped laughing. "He's still a little touchy about that incident."

"Bwuk," Thundercluck snickered one last time, and they moved on to the next story.

"So what are your plans now that you're not working for Gorman Bones?" Brunhilde asked as she turned the page. 

"I dunno," War-Tog replied, scratching his head. "I been hangin' out with Mr. Book Wyrm, but that's not really a job."

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, War-Tog," the Book Wyrm assured him.

"If you're looking for a job, we could use some help here in the library," said a voice behind them. War-Tog turned around to see the three dwarves Roy, Gee, and Biv. They were the ones who had given the magic glasses to the Book Wyrm and started off the big misunderstanding. 

"I'm only just learnin' to read," War-Tog said. "I don't think I'm gonna be much help sortin' and shelvin' books yet."

"There are other things you can do," Roy said. "You look like a pretty strong guy, er, man-pig. Parts of the library got wrecked during the battle with Medda. We could use some help clearing out the debris and building new shelves."

"We built some shelves for the Boss's cookbooks back in the volcano," War-Tog said eagerly. "These are bigger, but I reckon I can manage if you show me what to do."

"And you can always help me with my reading," the Book Wyrm added. "You're a great page-turner, and I enjoy the company."

"Then it's settled," said Gee.

"Welcome to the library staff," Biv added, clapping War-Tog on the shoulder.

"Welcome, my friend," the Book Wyrm said, beaming happily.

"You're not so bad when you're thinking for yourself instead of following Gorman's orders," Brunhilde said, patting his other shoulder. "I think we can be friends from now on."

"Bagurr," Thundercluck agreed.

"Sounds good to me," War-Tog said gruffly, then turned away mumbling, "'Scuse me, I got somethin' in my eye." The others politely pretended not to notice as he wiped a few tears from his eyes.

 _Friends,_ War-Tog thought with joy and amazement. For the first time in his life he had real friends. And on top of that, he felt both needed and appreciated. This was even better than getting a bottomless gruel bowl!

 _Sorry Mr. Boss,_ War-Tog silently said, even though he knew the Boss couldn't hear him. _I hope you'll be okay, but I've gotta go my own way._

He wiped one last tear from his eye, then turned back to his new friends, saying, "Okay, let's get some shelves built!"

**Author's Note:**

> I already liked War-Tog in the first book, and I really loved him in the second book, where he gets a lot more character development, and he was surprisingly sympathetic despite being an evil overlord's henchman. His devotion to "Mr. Boss" was touching if misplaced, and I really felt for him after he got tossed out by Medda. And then he turned up to help save the day at the end! 
> 
> After reading the first book, I was thinking of writing a story where he gets kicked out by Gorman Bones for being useless and ends up being befriended by Thundercluck and Brunhilde, although I expected that he would still be working with Gorman Bones in the sequel. So I was delighted when the second book actually had a similar plot in a way that I hadn't imagined that was totally awesome! 
> 
> He doesn't quite get to the point of becoming friends with Brunhilde, Thundercluck, and the Book Wyrm in the second book, but maybe he will in the third? In any case, I'm really looking forward to the next book!
> 
> If you're new to this series, please check out the animated book trailer and short film on the author's website--they're really funny and capture the feel of the series! In fact, this would make a great animated series, come to think of it.


End file.
